To Take Unto Thee Mary Thy Wife

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Then Joseph her husband, being a just [man], and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. (Matthew 1:18-21 KJV)

I believe there is a misconception of what the messenger was saying to Joseph, when he said “fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife” (KJV), or according to the YLT, “to receive Mary thy wife“. (Some translations even insert the word “as” between Mary and thy wife.)

Many understand this statement as speaking of Joseph and Mary coming together as husband and wife in holy matrimony, as in a formal ceremony.

I think this stems from two things:

  1. The reading of the preceding passage “before their coming together” as being a reference to marital relations or a ceremony of holy matrimony, and
  2. The expression “to take a wife“, used throughout the Bible.

But is this what the source text is alluding to? 

Before Their Coming Together

While it does seem likely the phrase “coming together” could be alluding to either marital relations or a matrimonial ceremony, the understanding of how that relates to Mary being found with child is significant.

The common understanding is that Mary was found with child of holy spirit before their (Joseph and Mary’s) coming together.

However, the Greek grammar of the text from which most English translations are derived points to the understanding that this is simply saying Mary was espoused to Joseph before their coming together.

The fact that Mary was found with child is a separate thought. And the natural understanding is that she conceived this child after having marital relations with her husband.

The notion that this child is a result of a miraculous conception without the participation of her husband is far-fetched, given that this idea is a deviation from the norm, and the text does not come right out and say this.

To Take a Wife

The Greek word used here in Matthew is a form of paralambano, whereas the expression “to take a wife” uses the word lambano.

Paralambano vs. Lambano

Take a look at all the uses of the word used in Matthew 1:20 in the rest of the book of Matthew, as well as the references used in the Old Testament, to help gain a better understanding of what the author of Matthew sought to convey in using this word.

In every instance of a man taking a wife in the Old Testament, the word lambano is used. Whereas, paralambano carries a different meaning.

Then, reconsider the immediate context in Matthew 1.

The Immediate Context

The author clearly identifies Mary was espoused to Joseph before their coming together.

Then he says, she was found with child of holy spirit, and Joseph, her husband, being righteous and not willing to make an example of her thought privately to send her away.

The fact that Joseph thought to send Mary away suggests the two are together at that point.

Then, when the instruction from the messenger to “fear not to take unto thee (or to receive thee) Mary thy wife” was given, it seems that it was specifically addressing Joseph’s thought to send her away.

Simply speaking

Simply speaking, Joseph and Mary were together as husband and wife when she was found with child.

Joseph thought to send her away for fear of her being made an example/show (given that she was pregnant with the Christ child), but the messenger reassured him of their remaining together.

See the Greek text for the application of the phrase “before they came together” and the uses of the Greek words often translated as “to take” to gain a better understanding of what the author sought to convey in the passage surrounding the birth of Jesus Christ.

About Messyanic

Homesteading Wife, Unschooling Mom and perpetual Bible student, continually taking the road less traveled. (@messyanic)
This entry was posted in Jesus / Yeshua, Virgin Birth Doctrine, What About? verses. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to To Take Unto Thee Mary Thy Wife

  1. Vance Tremaglio says:

    Do you have any information on the ebionites.It seems the Pharisees discarded them and the institutional church under Constantine wiped them out.They believed or written about them they have the original Hebrew Matthew information is hard to get to,it seems they are called heretics but they were right with the sect of Nazarene in the first century.They believed from baptism to the death and resurrection the messiah became son of God,not a virgin birth but the sect of Nazarene believed in virgin birth but both believed his starting point was in the womb of Mary not a pre existence,what are your thoughts,thank you

    • Messyanic says:

      I don’t have any information on the Ebionites. For a time I was a part of a Facebook group that studied the early sects, but I never got too involved in that study. (And I have long since been off of Facebook.) I don’t even know where folks get their understanding about the Nazarene sect. I’m sorry, I can’t speak for their understandings (Ebionites & Nazarenes).

      Personally, I believe Jesus/Yeshua “pre-existed” in the same way that Jeremiah and John the Baptist pre-existed…in the mind of the Creator. Otherwise, I don’t believe he had his physical beginning until he was conceived and born in the natural way. (I do not believe he personally appeared to anyone in the days of old. The *idea* of him — one who was seen in a vision/dream who was called “the Son of Man” standing before the Ancient of Days, yes, but not Jesus/Yeshua himself.) Whether that’s true or not, who’s to say, but that’s my personal understanding of the matter.

  2. Kay says:

    Your word study on the Greek “paralambano” vs “lambano” and “prin e” are most helpful and enlightening! Thank you, Carrie! I so appreciate the kingdom work that you do! HalleluYah!

    • Messyanic says:

      Thanks, Kay. 🙂

      I need to make an amendment to this post, after having studied the matter further over the years.

      Under the heading “Simply speaking”, I wrote, “Joseph thought to send her away for fear of her being made an example/show (given that she was pregnant with the Christ child), but the messenger reassured him of their remaining together.”

      My parenthetical statement pointed to Mary being pregnant with the Christ child, as if that was the cause for Joseph thinking to send Mary away.

      However, now, I don’t believe that was likely the reason he thought to do so. I believe he thought to send her away because she was simply pregnant.

    • Messyanic says:

      I had made a post in February of 2017 entitled “Why Send Mary Away?” and posited my reasoning, but then in March of 2023, I edited the post with newfound understanding.

      I posted my new reasoning concerning the matter in March of 2018, which I still hold to today. The post is called “Why Joseph Knew Her Not Till Mary Brought Forth“.

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